Photo courtesy of Times Online

Equmen, the undershirt that does for men what spanx does for women

That headline grabbed my attention the way a t-shirt grabs onto love handles.

The Equmen undergarment is a new Lycra-infused shirt meant to pump guys up while simultaneously slimming them down. The Australian makers of the "core precision undershirt" say it does for guys' chests what Spanx does for flabby female thighs.

The 'Spanx for men' product gets a test drive by Times Online's John Waters. Read the hilarious first person account if the idea of a man wearing a body-sculpting-chest-enhancing-girdle and sharing his experience of getting into it and wearing it is as fascinating to you as it is to me.

Snippet:

To Waters, all that just meant it wasn't easy to slip into.

"Several moments of flailing, grunting and yelping, and I'm in," he adds.

Waters insists that a bit of labored breathing was a small price to pay for the 3 inches the souped-up T-shirt took off his waist.

"Pulling on my now slightly too-big-for-me clothes, I look normal again, but better," he reports. "I think I look a fraction taller and just a bit thinner."

He made the crucial mistake of telling some female friends that his new and improved bod was really a byproduct of the shirt.

"I'd admire a bloke for making an effort," one told him. "But I really wouldn't want to know about it."

The Times Online

But don't call it a girdle!

Don't call these waist-nippers a girdle. Call them "shapewear" call them "bodywear" or even "masculinities." Men overwhelmingly hate the term "girdle" applied to their purpose-ridden underthings. This demographic is exploding and bro-friendly terminology is key to capitalizing on that.

The Wall Street Journal reports that:

Indeed, sales growth in men's underwear is outpacing that of women's. Last year, sales of men's underwear in the U.S. rose 7.8% from 2005 to reach 1.1 billion units, according to market-researcher NPD Group. By comparison, women's intimate-apparel unit sales rose 2.3% to reach 1.5 billion in the same period.

The Wall Street Journal

Breastplates and greaves; wigs and heels

The Core Precision Undershirt, sold by Equmen and touted as good for improving posture, supporting core muscles, controlling the body temperature and visibly streamlining the body is new.  But the concept of enhancing the male physique strategically through underclothing is not unprecedented.

There's the girdle for men, the 'mirdle', which euphemistically promises to "problem solve" and "redefine trouble spots" and  pantyhose for men ("mantyhose") that come with a larger belt than for women as well as a "front opening."


In the early 19th century, some fashionable men in England were known to wear corsets.

Photo courtesy of Zaskar Films


Outerwear too has served to transform the male figure.

Breastplates and greaves, worn throughout history, not only protected the wearer but made the wearer look darn good—bigger and more muscular as a matter of course.


Photo courtesy of Schiltron


High heels (high heels originated in France as male footwear around 1500) and wigs, guys have been there and done that too.

Photo courtesy Wikipedia


Appreciative female gaze

I have to wonder how things will go for the mirdle-wearer who unveils for a first-time lover. Will he insist on doing so in the dark? If not, then how will he explain the weird padding? How will he explain the vast difference between pre and post disrobing?

Would you appreciate the effort if the guy you were seeing wore one of these?


Appreciative gaze
Annette Marie Hyder

The first night we meet
his muscles leap
off the pages of a Greek myth.

He is Rodin reliefed
Michaelangelo molded
to my appreciative gaze.

But when he spends the night
all is not right
something is seriously amiss.

His beautiful muscles
come off with his clothes—
his masterpiece
is a poor reproduction.